More than a Teacher

A great teacher teaches you more than just the basics in math or English or history. A great teacher inspires you to reach beyond your grasp and aspire to be a better person. A great teacher will go out of their way to make sure that you feel able and valued, no matter how many students they have in their class or how many years they’ve been teaching. You can tell a great teacher by the number of students gathered around their desk throughout the day; they’re the ones still there an hour after school has let out, simply because so many students are waiting.

My great teacher was my 4^th year English teacher, Mr. Sanchez. It’s hard to explain what it was about Mr. Sanchez that made him the best teacher in a school of dozens. He certainly wasn’t the easiest – he challenged each and every student to attempt what they thought was impossible, and he never let the ‘smart’ kids’ coast by on their good reputations. Maybe it was his easy way with every kid, regardless of whom they were or where they came from. Maybe it was the way he made everything seem a little more interesting than it probably was. I think it was the whole package: he was the type of teacher who made you care about him and what you were learning.

Mr. Sanchez made a difference in my life because he went out of his way to understand someone who was different. My school wasn’t exceptionally large, but there were certainly enough students to get lost in the crowd. My problem was, it was impossible for me to get lost in that crowd because, early in my life, my teachers found out that I was one of those ‘smart’ kids. Things naturally came easy to me, and I was often called upon to help my classmates when they were having trouble. I was visibly different from all the other kids, and it made a real impact on the way I felt about myself, all the way through school.

Mr. Sanchez acknowledged the fact that I caught onto things easily and he knew that I could get bored with what was going on. He was the first teacher I had who looked past my intelligence to think about me as a person.

I know that Mr. Sanchez touched the lives of hundreds of students. There will, of course, be some who remember him a little more than others because of the special things he did for those who needed it. I know that, for me, my time in Mr. Sanchez’s class changed my life and he’s a big part of the reason with whom and what I am now. He taught me to embrace the way my mind works, and showed me that being different isn’t really a bad thing.

A Father's Love( nilikha para sa aking tatay(lolo) )

Memories, those times in your life to which you can reflect to at any moment. They're all so precious even some bad ones because they form who you are. When you want to remember someone close to you who may have passed, the memories are bitter sweet. When you reflect on birthday parties, or curling up with your parents when you were once a child. That nostalgia makes a warm smile cast over your face.

Though there are some memories that you might wish to cast from all conciseness, they molded you too. Sometimes I don't like the way something went in my life, but I know that as much as the thought tempts me I wouldn't change a thing.

Now that I am grown up man, I can still remember the days I sat on my Tatay's lap. I can hear him telling the stories of when he was young. They weren't your typical walking ten miles to school in the mountain stories. They held more to the imagination than that. It was my time a time that will never fade into the past.

To my Tatay, I know that I'm still the same little boy I was 16 years ago. Some things never change.

When people look at my Tatay, they only see the pain he lives with. If only they could look further past the surface. Through my eyes, I see the same amount of strength and love that was always inside of him. He has taught me, through his ups and downs that it's what you have at this moment in time that matters. Every few months, we have the same conversation. It starts with him telling me how proud he is of the person I have become. Then it ends quite drastically. He lets me know that his days are numbered there are no guarantees in life. The most important thing to him is being able to see me as often as he can.

Old age with it the strongest sense of fear you ever thought possible. In the blink of an eye, you're thrust into the unknown. The question lingers If there is no tomorrow, will God give us the rest of today? That is what my Tatay lives for. He is determined to make the most out of what time he has left. In his own words, "Life's too short to get worked up over what can't be changed". These are the words to live by.

There is more to my Tatay than any other person in this world. He is the most unselfish and compassionate person that I have ever known. I always tell him how much I love him and thank him for being my tatay. To anyone walking in my shoes, the most important thing to know is that nothing will ever compare to the love of my father.

Why?

There is no one in the world who has a mind to think with that has not asked themselves "Why?" I don't mean any specific why, but why everything. Why are people different colors? Why do we destroy the Earth when we know that to do this is to destroy ourselves? Why are we here at all?

Everyone needs to believe that they are here for a reason, even if the reason is just to live for the sake of living, which may be the best reason of all. Without a reason to live, the world is cold, and day-to-day life is painful and tiring.

There was a time when I felt that life was not worth the pain, and every day it got harder to wake up, to face my friends who understood me (although I would not admit it to myself), and to fight the everyday problems that are a part of life. It was the fight that began to give me a reason to live. The fight just to stay alive was the reason I was staying alive. I told myself that I would survive at any cost, and I did.

Now, I know why I am here. I am here to live life as it is, to learn about myself, understand myself: why I fight everything and everyone; why I love the people I do. As long as we understand ourselves and love ourselves for what we are, we don't need a universal reason to live. We can all make our own reasons, anything that keeps us from feeling unimportant and unloved.

By educating ourselves and understanding other peoples' beliefs and values, we can stop being afraid of what we don't know or what isn't familiar to us. When we stop being afraid (and fear can make us hateful), we can stop hurting other people and use that energy to help ourselves. Our own energy that comes from concentrating and thinking can be used to change the world, and make it a place where people can learn about themselves and understand why they are alive

When I grow up

In kindergarten, my class was asked, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” Crayons danced across sheets of ­paper to illustrate our dream occupations. Our drawings were hung in the hallway for our parents to see at Back to School Night. I remember looking down the line and seeing pictures of ballerinas dancing, firefighters putting out a blaze, and astronauts leaping across the moon – careers that were seen as typical dreams of five-year-olds.

My picture showed a stick figure with brown hair holding a carton of orange juice over a large rectangle that was supposed to be a counter. Underneath was my barely legible handwriting: “When I grow up, I want to work at the Market Basket because it would be fun to swipe orange juice across the scanner.” To this day my parents won’t let me forget that out of everything I could have aspired to be, my five-year-old self wished to work at the local grocery store.

When we are young, questions of what we want to be when we grow up are common. Yet we are not expected to respond with an answer that is likely to come true. However, when we become teens, we are asked the very same question twice as often. The difference is, now we are supposed to ­answer with confidence.

Teens are expected to know exactly what we want to be and how we are going to achieve that goal. Not all of us can be so sure. Even though I am a nurse alread, I still cannot answer convincingly. But I don’t ­consider that a bad thing. How am I supposed to know what I will want to spend my time doing at age 40?

When I think about the future, I definitely don’t see myself working at the Market ­Basket, but in reality, if that was what would make me happy, I would do it. So, the next time someone asks me what I want to be when I grow up, I will simply say “happy.”

Happiness is a destination for everyone. We may want to walk different paths in life, but we all want to be happy wherever we end up. Choose your path, but don’t worry too much about choosing wisely. Make a ­mistake or two and try new things. But ­always remember, if you’re not happy, you’re not at the end of your journey yet.

Now It's Time to Say Goodbye

The end of any relationship is difficult, whether you've spent years together or just a few months. Love isn't put to rest overnight and can linger long after you've said goodbye. Some experts say it takes half as long as the relationship lasted to process it and move on. Others say grief holds itself unaccountable and to no specific timetable, that it can go on for months and years. Rather than the duration of your time spent with each other, it is the quality, the intensity, of this time that will dictate the length and breadth of grief. A few shorts weeks with a woman you felt a true connection with might be much harder to get over than a man you liked and were with for years, but never quite meshed with. Both relationships might've been viable at one time, yet both led to the same place anyway - saying goodbye. And it is in the parting (yes, parting is such sweet sorrow. Or, sometimes, parting is such sweet relief!) where you can begin again. Except of course if you aren't really ready to say goodbye.

Breakups can be brutal, on both sides. Usually, because of a shared history and strong emotional connections, the one leaving doesn't want to hurt the one being left, and the one being left doesn't want to be let go. Those early, pure feelings of desire, which brought you two together, become tangled up in ego, in resentment and pride and the need for self-protection. You close up and off. You turn away from what you admired and respected in the other, because it's just too damn painful to see it and know that it wasn't enough, that in the end you just "weren't feeling it."

If you are the one leaving, be kind. Make the end as clean and clear as possible. Or, as a good friend of mine says, "Be sure to use a sharpened machete, not a rusty butter knife." If you cut it off, make sure that it stays off. There's nothing worse than a wishy-washy breakup. If this is what you really want, then be strong in your convictions, because the other will go on hoping against hope that you'll eventually wake up and change your mind, that you'll see what you're missing and come back around. Sometimes, you will, only to leave again. Sometimes, you won't, and regret it.

If you are the one being left, be kind to yourself. Everyone will tell you not to take it personally and you shouldn't. Try to separate your wounded ego from the reality of the situation - that for whatever reason, this other person simply didn't want what you wanted at the exact same time. I hate to reduce good, productive relationships down to timing, but more often than not, timing is all we really have to go on. If he wasn't in the right place in his life, there's nothing you could've done to change that. Patience might win out in the end, but then again, so does resentment. You can only wait around so long for someone to get his act together before you realize that "getting his act together" is just an act and that you deserve far more than this.

Do not make someone a priority, if he only makes you an option. And that goes for the grief you will feel as well. Try to contain it. Let it preoccupy you less and less each day. Give it a few minutes and stick to those minutes. Remove old photos, erase voice messages, cards, trinkets, any object that reminds you of him or her. At least for now. Later, much later, you might look back fondly on what was, but right now, you've got to let go of what isn't. If it's a nice day, go fly a kite, take a walk on the beach, look at some art. Find what makes you happy again, because that's who she fell in love with to begin with. And that's who you are anyway, even if you can't see yourself clearly through the tears. But you will. You will.

Falling in love too fast

The feeling of falling in love is one of the most exciting, thrilling and life changing events. Falling in love can change your entire outlook on life. Falling in love can occupy your mind and seem to take away all of life's problems. However, falling in love can bring about a serious problem of endless heartaches if a person falls in love too fast. Let us look at what brings about the feeling of needing to fall in love, what defines true love and the string of broken hearts that can occur if one falls in love too quickly.

With these key elements examined, a person may realize that they are too rapidly generating the feeling of falling in love, and in doing so, producing unfortunate consequences. A life filled with a great amount of broken hearts predictably points to a great amount of relationships in which the person fell in love too quickly. Once acknowledged as a source of heartaches, one can achieve a more realistic approach to falling in love and finding someone special.

The majority of adult single people undoubtedly desire the ultimate feeling of being in love with another person. Instilled in people's minds is that love will bring happiness, safely and security. Most people are witness to a loving relationship from a very young age, as we witness the love of our parents. As adults, the media overwhelms us with love stories. Countless advertising bombards us to find love. When one is single, it may seem that everywhere they look; there are couples holding hands, talking and laughing together. This can produce an overpowering desire for a person to find love.

Real and genuine love means connecting in ways that are almost indescribable. Present are the key elements that each desire in a relationship. There is a strong emotional attachment, as well as an intense physical attraction. The two people in the relationship spent time thoroughly getting to know the each other. These people will understand each other quirks and habits. They will learn each other's history and the life that they lived up until they met. After sometime, a feeling of comfort and admiration occurs. As cliché as it sounds, if love is going to happen, both will have a feeling of "fitting together" and "finding their better half". If both people involved in the relationship are content and their desires fulfilled, as time moves on, an increasing feeling of devotion and affection will change into a deep and strong feeling of love.

Without these fundamentals in place, having the feelings of falling in love exceedingly prematurely can result in needless heartbreaking outcomes. It is true that being single can sometimes produce intense feelings of loneliness. These feelings of solitude and wanting acceptance into a loving relationship can make one push for a relationship that is not correct for them. Beginning to spend time with another, sometimes a person will mistake the feeling of acceptance for the feeling of love. Love is not something easily obtained. For long periods, love can escape us, as we search for that someone special that we wish for in our lives.

Telling yourself that you are in love, does not create love. If not all of the essentials of genuine love are in place, convincing yourself that you are in love does not magically produce those necessary elements. If in almost every relationship you enter, you fall in love within a couple weeks or even days, you must ask yourself; are you really in love?

Undoubtedly, falling in love produces a magnificent euphoric high. The emotion of finding one's "soul mate" fulfills a deep desire to bond with someone. True love is such a rare find. In terms of realistic expectations, one simply cannot sincerely be in love with every person they meet or date. Allowing yourself to feel you are in love with almost everyone you connect with, in a small measure of time, only will lead to ultimate disappointment. Sincerely asking yourself the question, "Was it really true love?" may give you the knowledge that perhaps you did not actually experience love. This is not to imply you did not admire someone, like spending time with him or her or had lust for him or her. However, did real love exist? Comprehending that it did not, may lessen the sense of feeling betrayed and the feeling of being wounded from relationships gone astray.

To free yourself from being the victim of lost "love", give yourself the time to unequivocally get to know and appreciate someone, allowing love to happen in it's own due course. Do not impulsively rush into a state of feeling in love. Seriously consider all of the factors that ensure a real and lasting love. Give this feeling time to develop. Only then, can you truly know that you are in love.