People Come and Go

Many People Come and Go

But only a few ever stay,

And even when they do, they only stay for a while. You'll only realize they're gone when they've already left. You'd never know that they have their other foot outside the door all the time.

When strangers come to your life, be careful of trusting them your heart. You'll never know they'll leave like thieves in the middle of the night, stealing a part of you and all that's left is your shattered heart.

People come and go. Never wish for them to stay. Because they never will. When they have no reasons to stay.

My father's closet

by Jeremy Deck

Lying down beside me, my mother softly said, "I can’t tell you why, but if you guess it I won’t say no." I was 11 years old, and my picture-perfect life had unraveled in the past six months. But finally, perhaps, I would discover why my father had left. "Is it another woman?" I asked. "No," she responded in a peculiar way. Laughingly I retorted, "Another man?" … and there was silence.

Fifteen years later, that silence still rings in my ears. It is a silence which has changed my life forever, a silence broken only to a few close friends and family members, for fear of what people might think if they knew the truth. When Christians talk about having loved ones who are homosexuals, the conversation nearly always focuses on either what we can do to help that person adjust to their new life, or how we can bring them back into the Kingdom. But few have paid attention to those who are left behind.

After my parents’ separation, my sister and I began spending every other weekend with my father in the city. He shared a condo with a man who had also left his wife and children. The man’s two daughters seemed to have adjusted to the situation. It was as if everything was "normal." But I felt anything but normal. It was as if I had fallen asleep and woken up in a bizarre alternate reality. At the end of the day, my father would not walk into the bedroom with my mom, like he had done only weeks before. Instead, he headed off to bed with a man I had met only days before.

Those weekends were a nightmare for my sister and me. Not only were we forced to leave our mother and friends, but we were placed in a culture we knew nothing about. It was not just a foreign culture; it was one which was anathema to the community in which we were raised. We had gone from the Garden of Eden to Sodom and Gomorrah. How could my father, who once reigned over our Eden, suddenly become a supporter of what we had seen as the enemy?

I was forced to deal with those weekends only for a short time, since a few months later, my mother, sister, and I moved 2,000 miles away from my dad. In many ways, this move made things easier for me. I was no longer forced to face the truth of my dad’s revelations. As much as I hated the fact that my family had not let me in on the secret of my father’s sexuality, I quickly discovered that I was able to find some security by keeping my dad’s identity hidden. As long as nobody else knew about my dad, I was safe from facing the truth head-on. I could live my life as if I was a member of the family on The Cosby Show -- or at least some close dysfunctional relative.

Reality would set in again during the summer when I visited my dad. These were always times of ambivalence because, despite all the pain, I longed to be with my father. Like most sons, I had always wanted to be just like my dad. He was funny and people always seemed to love being around him. But I no longer really knew who my father was. The joy I felt at each joke he told and each person who gathered around him was now tempered by the reality that he was no longer the father I once had. He was no longer my protector from the world, but in fact had become the world. This betrayal was unfathomable to me.

Even in the midst of this betrayal, though, I loved to be held by my dad. I still desired the unique closeness of a father-son relationship. I treasured the times when it was just me and him sitting together on a couch watching a movie. It was wonderful cheering together at a Padres game that I knew he came to only because of my own love for baseball. As difficult as it was to trust or love my father, I hoped for a closer relationship with him.

It didn’t get any easier as I grew older. It wasn’t until my senior year in high school that I told someone about my father. My desire for security finally gave way to my need to be understood. And when I told my girlfriend about my dad, I was relieved to see that she didn’t run away from me and she didn’t accuse me of being gay. Thankfully, she did not treat me like I was strange -- though I certainly felt I was.

It was even more difficult to tell my male friends about my dad. I was petrified that if I told them I would be accused of being "queer" -- not the sort of reputation you want to have in high school. If I told them, would they look at me strangely when I gave them a pat on the back after a nice basketball shot?

I did not want to be ostracized simply because my dad was gay, and I wasn’t sure whether people, especially guys, would be able to separate my father’s identity from my own. Moreover, I was frequently reminded of the animosity many felt toward homosexuals. My junior year of college, a group of friends and I were watching an episode of ER in which a homosexual man was dying of AIDS. One of my friends -- a future pastor -- quipped, "I hate it when they show compassion toward them!" My heart sank. How could I tell my friends about my dad?

But the question soon became, how could I not tell them? If these were my best friends and my fellow brothers in Christ, how could I not help them see that homosexuality is more than leather-clad men in a bar?

One night I got the courage to read them a short paper I’d written about my father. It was one of the hardest things I’ve every done. I barely got through the first paragraph before I broke down. But by the time I was finished I saw the compassion in their eyes, and in the days that followed, I saw a change in their words and actions. My friend who had made the ER comment apologized. Others also asked for forgiveness for comments they had made in the past. My story had helped them to understand a different side of homosexuality.

It is this side of the story that I feel compelled to tell. Children of homosexuals have a unique vantage point on the complexities of the issue. Homosexuals are often able to surround themselves with like-minded individuals in the thriving gay culture. Spouses, parents, or siblings of homosexuals do not usually immerse themselves in a homosexual environment once their loved ones "come out." Children, however, are in a sense forced to live a lifestyle they have not chosen. My father has never made me go with him to gay sections of town, but as a child you are emotionally dependent on your parents and do not often feel the right to tell your parent," I don’t want to go to this particular place or meet that particular person."

When I visit my dad I begin to truly understand what it’s like to live as a homosexual. My dad does not take me barhopping to gay taverns at night, but I am basically surrounded by

homosexuals. It’s a strange feeling to be standing on a street corner watching a gay rights parade while your dad laughs hysterically at the "Dykes on Bikes" -- something that, only a few years earlier, you would have been punished for viewing.

This transition has made me leery of putting trust in anyone. As a child, I had placed uncompromising trust in my parents. But since that trust was violated, I’ve found it difficult to put that much faith in anyone’s word, or in their character. Even when all is going well, I constantly guard myself against being too happy, aware that at any second my life could be dismantled again.

Perhaps most saddening to me, and for many other children of homosexuals, is the difficulty I have in trusting the motives of older men. Family experts repeatedly point out that children of divorced parents need to have someone fill in as a father figure. But whenever an older man pays attention to me, as a father would to his son, I am plagued with the fear that he might be gay. It isn’t the most rational fear -- I know that not all gay men are on the prowl for other men -- but it grips me nonetheless.

I am even more troubled when someone says to my dad, "You have a son?" Each time I hear this question I am flooded with insecurities. Is my dad ashamed of me? Why don’t these people know that my dad has two children? Since he isn’t proud of his heterosexual marriage, wouldn’t he also be embarrassed by me? If my sister and I are the only connection he has with his past, are we a thorn in his side every time he sees us? Nobody wants to be reminded of a past they’re ashamed of. Why should I think my dad would be any different? And when homosexuals come out of the closet, why shouldn’t they wish that their skeletons would stay inside? It’s not easy being a skeleton.

Likewise, it would be easy for me to be ashamed of my dad. But I, and others in my situation, have something more than shame to bring to the conversation between homosexuals and the church. By spending time with my father and his friends, I know firsthand what it means to be surrounded by people who don’t share many of my basic desires, tastes, passions, and struggles. It is at least a taste of the sort of isolation homosexuals must feel living in a heterosexual world.

Similarly, I probably have a greater appreciation of the fear homosexuals must have of telling their parents that they are gay. I know how fearful I am of telling my father what I believe about his lifestyle. What if he refuses to have anything to do with me because of what I believe? I have already missed out on a lot of my dad’s life as it is, and I am not eager to strain a relationship that has had many bumps and bruises. I can only imagine the despair homosexuals must feel in revealing themselves to their parents.

But in spite of all I’ve learned, there is much that I still don’t -- and may not ever -- understand about homosexuality. Homosexuality runs deep; it is not something that can be chalked up as merely a surface desire or a simple, conscious choice. It seems to me that we need to spend less time worrying about the origins of homosexuality and more time caring for homosexuals.

I would be lying, though, to say that I now have such compassion for homosexuals that I am completely comfortable in their world. It is hard for me to sit in the same room with my father as he cuddles with another man; hard to drive around with him as he comments on what a good-looking guy we just passed; hard to walk together through a gay section of town, knowing that people on the street might think that we’re lovers. But I put myself in these situations because I love my father, and because I want to know him, even the parts of him that I disagree with, the parts that have hurt me deeply.

I’ve been in these places, as have many other children of homosexuals, but I have been there alone -- in part because I was ashamed, and in part because I didn’t see that the church was particularly interested in going there with me. Even as I make my story known, part of me wonders whether there will be some who will look at me strangely, checking my mannerisms for signs of "gayness." Still, I believe that the children of homosexuals have much to offer. It is much easier to hate, or misunderstand, someone you have no connection to than someone you see as your friend’s parent.

Ever since the day I learned the truth about my dad, I have taken Romans 8:28 to heart: "All things work together for good to those who love the Lord." For me, I think part of this good comes in telling my story. Other than my sister, I have met only one person who I know is in the same situation as I am. That meeting was historic to me, and it brought a sense of understanding that I had not felt before. I hope that the church can become a community where more of these meetings can take place and where Christians will join me, and those in similar situations, in our difficult and often complex call to love.

....

Always reward your long hours of labor and toil in the very best way, surrounded by your family. Nurture their love carefully, remembering that your children need models, not critics, and your own progress will hasten when you constantly strive to present your best side to your children. And even if you have failed at all else in the eyes of the world, if you have a loving family, you are a success.

Love and Age

Nurse: “It was a busy morning, approximately 8:30 am,when an elderly gentleman, in his 80’s, presented to have sutures (stitches) removed from his thumb.

He stated that he was in a hurry as he had an appointment at 9:00 am. I (nurse) took his vital signs and had him take a seat, knowing it would be over an hour before someone would to able to see him.

I saw him looking at his watch and decided, since I was not busy with another patient, I would evaluate his wound. On exam it was well healed, so I talked to one of the doctors, got the needed supplies to remove his sutures and redress his wound.

While taking care of his wound, we began to engage in conversation. Asked him if he had a doctor’s appointment this morning somewhere else, as he was in such a hurry. The gentleman told me no, that he needed to go to the nursing home to eat breakfast with his wife.

I then inquired as to her health. He told me that she had been there for a while and that she was a victim of Alzheimer Disease. As we talked, and I finished dressing his wound, I asked if she would be worried if he was a bit late. He replied that she no longer knew who he was, that she had not recognized him in five years now.

I was surprised, and asked him. “And you are still going every morning, even though she doesn’t know who you are?” He smiled as he patted my hand and said. “She doesn’t know me, but I still know who she is.”

I had to hold back tears as he left, I had goose bumps on my arm, and thought, “That is the kind of love I want in my life.”

True love is neither physical, nor romantic. True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be, and will not be.

The Mountains

"A son and his father were walking on the mountains.

Suddenly, his son falls, hurts himself and screams: "AAAhhhhhhhhhhh!!!"

To his surprise, he hears the voice repeating, somewhere in the mountain: "AAAhhhhhhhhhhh!!!"

Curious, he yells: "Who are you?"

He receives the answer: "Who are you?"

And then he screams to the mountain: "I admire you!"

The voice answers: "I admire you!"

Angered at the response, he screams: "Coward!"

He receives the answer: "Coward!"

He looks to his father and asks: "What's going on?"

The father smiles and says: "My son, pay attention."

Again the man screams: "You are a champion!"

The voice answers: "You are a champion!"

The boy is surprised, but does not understand.
Then the father explains: "People call this ECHO, but really this is LIFE.
It gives you back everything you say or do.
Our life is simply a reflection of our actions.

If you want more love in the world, create more love in your heart.

If you want more competence in your team, improve your competence.

This relationship applies to everything, in all aspects of life;
Life will give you back everything you have given to it."

YOUR LIFE IS NOT A COINCIDENCE. IT'S A REFLECTION OF YOU!

Parents love

An 80 year old man was sitting on the sofa in his house along with his 45 years old highly educated son. Suddenly a crow perched on their window.

The Father asked his Son, "What is this?"

The Son replied "It is a crow".

After a few minutes, the Father asked his Son the 2nd time, "What is this?"

The Son said "Father, I have just now told you "It's a crow".

After a little while, the old Father again asked his Son the 3rd time,

What is this?"

At this time some ex-pression of irritation was felt in the Son's tone when he said to his Father with a rebuff. "It's a crow, a crow".

A little after, the Father again asked his Son t he 4th time, "What is this?"

This time the Son shouted at his Father, "Why do you keep asking me the same question again and again, although I have told you so many times 'IT IS A CROW'. Are you not able to understand this?"

A little later the Father went to his room and came back with an old tattered diary, which he had maintained since his Son was born. On opening a page, he asked his Son to read that page. When the son read it, the following words were written in the diary :-

"Today my little son aged three was sitting with me on the sofa, when a crow was sitting on the window. My Son asked me 23 times what it was, and I replied to him all 23 times that it was a Crow. I hugged him lovingly each time h e asked me the same question again and again for 23 times. I did not at all feel irritated I rather felt affection for my innocent child".

While the little child asked him 23 times "What is this", the Father had felt no irritation in replying to the same question all 23 times and when today the Father asked his Son the same question just 4 times, the Son felt irritated and annoyed.

So..

If your parents attain old age, do not repulse them or look at them as a burden, but speak to them a gracious word, be cool, obedient, humble and kind to them. Be considerate to your parents. From today say this aloud, "I want to see my parents happy forever. They have cared for me ever since I was a little child. They have always showered their selfless love on me. They crossed all mountains and valleys without seeing the storm and heat to make me a person presentable in the society today".

all about love..

Sometimes there would come a time we had to stop loving someone...
why????
...not because the person started hating us but because the person stopped giving us reason's
to fight for what we trully feel.
and what is sad about love??
it when you happen to know that there's no hope for you being together,yet you pray to make it still work.
Its when your mind say's "let go" but your heart say's "hold on"
its when you dream of him almost everynight only to wake up in the morning w/ tears in your eyes,and most of all its when no matter how
you try to forget him and just dont know why....
When relationship fails we ask ourselves what went wrong there are times when nothing was wrong...
love? just naturally fades away and this happens to people who are simply not meant for each other.
Its difficult to comprehend why realationship suddenly take unexpected turns.....

regrets,.taking chances,.

We talk like we know what's going on. But we don't. We don't know anything. We're young and we're gonna screw-up a lot. We're gona keep changing our minds and even sometimes our hearts. And through all that, the only thing we can truly offer eachother is... forgiveness.

Take chances... alot of them. Because honestly, no matter where you end up- and with who, it always ends up just the way it should be. Your mistakes make you who you are... you learn and grow with each choice you make. Everything is worth it. say how you feel- always . Be you, and be okay with it. It doesn't matter what any other person thinks.

Never regret anything that has happened in your life, it cannot be changed, undone or forgotten so take it as a lesson learned and move on

Accept everything about yourself -- I mean everything, You are you and that is the beginning and the end -- no apologies, no regrets.

Don't Give Up you may be tempted to... but dont give up; when you've misplaced your hopeful dreams, Dare to believe again in the impossible; Catch a ray of sunshine,and hold on tightly; The one who holds your hand... will never let you go.

Believe you can, and you can. Belief is one of the most powerful of all problem dissolvers. When you believe that a difficulty can be overcome, you are more than half way to victory over it already.

I never regret anything that has happened to me in my life, wether it is making a bad choice, deciding to do something I shouldnt have, saying the wrong thing or not doing something I should have done... because all of these things have given me the knowledge I have today and helped make me who I am today... and that is one thing I will never regret.

When you come to the edge of the light that you know, and you are about to step off into the darkness of the unknown, faith is knowing that one of two things will happen: there will be something to land on, or you will learn how to fly.

Please don't blame yourself for any of the stupid shit that I choose to do. None of this is your fault. I'm the one who makes these bad decisions so I'm the one who pays the consequences.--- Jupiter-Girl

The trouble with so many of us is that we underestimate the power of simplicity. We have a tendency it seems to over complicate our lives and forget what's important and what's not. We tend to mistake movement for achievement. We tend to focus on activities instead of results. And as the pace of life continues to race along in the outside world, we forget that we have the power to control our lives regardless of what's going on outside.

There are two things which prevent us from achieving our dreams. The first is the belief that they are impossible and the second is seeing them made possible by the twist of the wheel of fortune when we least expect it. For at that moment, all our fears rise to the surface: the fear of suddenly setting off along a road heading god knows where, the fear of a life full of new challenges, the fear of losing forever all that is familiar.

Sometimes we need to stop analyzing the past - stop planning the future - stop figuring out precisely how we feel - stop deciding with our mind exactly what we want our heart to feel- sometimes we just have to go with the flow.

When you make a mistake, don't look back at it long. Take the reason of the thing into your mind and then look forward. Mistakes are lessons of wisdom. The past cannot be changed. The future is yet in your power.

I'd rather live my life to the fullest than conduct myself in a certain way to gain approval from others; I have no regrets and especially no apologies.

I've been thinking a lot lately about taking chances. And how it's really just about overcoming your fears. Because the truth is, every time you take a big risk in your life, no matter how it ends up, you're always glad you took it. ~ Scrubs

moving on.,

It's hard to accept, but you can't change the past. You can't go back and manipulate things to the way you wanted them to happen. Because life'd be meaningless and boring and just not worth living. But you can change the future and that's a beautiful thing about life. Yes, you will make mistakes. And yes, you will have bad days - but as long as you let the past go, you'll have such a gorgeous and bright future ahead of you. Knowing that things were meant to happen. Knowing that each day you will learn something so that you keep growing to be a better person. Life is like a rope, twined in all its complexities and yet weaved into one marvelous stream that you have the chance you use something amazing from. So grab hold of it.

...

"With every friend I love who has been taken into the brown bosom of the earth a part of me has been buried there; but their contribution to my being of happiness, strength and understanding remains to sustain me in an altered world."

Missing you quotes.,.

When I'm not there... do you think of me? When you're sad and something's bothering you... do you wish I was there to help comfort you? When you've had a long hard day... do you smile knowing that soon you'll be seeing me, and everything will seem better, even if it's just for a moment? When you lay down at night... do you look back and cherish the new memories you've made with me? And when you get up in the morning, does everything inside of you smile, knowing that this will be another day that we'll be together? because that's how I think of you...

When I miss you, sometimes I listen to music or look at pictures of you, not to remind me of you but to make me feel as if I'm with you. It makes me forget the distance and capture you.

No matter how far you are, no matter how long I'm gone, you will always be with me. I will see you always as clear as day, for our love knows no boundaries and never will, because you see... our hearts are one, and mine is always home.

Not being able to hold you has got to be the hardest thing I've ever had to do. But I get to look forward to the next time you are in my arms; your smile only inches away from mine getting closer and closer until at last... our smiles meet. Something that beautiful... that's what keeps me going.

Sometimes, no matter how much faith we have, we lose people. But you never forget them. And sometimes, it's those memories that give us the strength to go on.

I've been laying here all night, listening to the rain. Talking to my heart and trying to explain. Why sometimes I catch myself wondering what might have been. Yes I do think about you, every now and then.

In this weird twisted way, I know you miss me liking you, not because I want to believe it's true, but because you'll never find a girl that can put up with you like I did; you'll never find a girl who will care as much as I did, because no one will waste all there love on someone like you, like I did.

I called because I wanted you to know that despite everything that' happened and all the miles between us right now, I still think about the way it was in the beginning.

This is out last goodbye... it's over, just hear this and then I'll go; you gave me more to live for then you'll ever know.

I don't miss you: I miss the person I thought you were.

I'd be happy to come back to you... except it was you that went away.

I think its time I let you go... and that is hard to do because part of me will be in love with you for the rest of my life.

Good-bye's make you think. They make you realize what you've had and what you've lost, and what you've taken for granted.

Good-bye is only truly painful if you know you'll never say hello again.

Never long for anyone from the past. There is a reason why they never made it to your future.

Goodbyes always hurt whether it's the right thing to do or not.

Distance between two hearts is not an obstacle... rather a beautiful reminder of just how strong true love can be.

Can miles truly separate you...? If you want to be with someone you love, aren't you already there?

You know you love someone when the mere thought of losing them brings you to tears.

Life's Dream For You

There are the dreams you have for your life and then there are the dreams that life has for you. At times, we may wonder what’s going on or feel lost, but life has its plan which may include your dreams or something completely different.

We're all part of the fiber that makes life whole and to that end, we have our place here. For such a time as this, you were created to do some important work in the world. Do you have any idea, in your wildest imagination, what life wants from you?

You were born to fulfill a sacred function, a mission, a purpose, perhaps even a calling. Not all missions have to be like Mother Theresa’s. Some of our missions are quieter, more discreet, but nonetheless essential.

Where do you find the answer to the question, “Why am I here?” Look in your heart or in your loved ones’ eyes, or in the words of your closest friends. But also look out at life. There's so much the world needs from us right now. Life needs your faith, your courage, your ability to trust, hope and believe. Life needs your prayers and contributions. Life needs your gifts.

To live a joyful life, discover what fulfills you, what makes you happy, what makes you whole and what sustains you. The compass for discovering this is your heart. Some refer to it as our soul’s code. It's the inherent wisdom inside you that knows why you're here. When you cultivate the ability to recognize this and to trust it, life becomes rich and (sometimes) easier.

Where can you offer your gift? As you explore or recognize what life (perhaps in the form of your family, home, work, community or country) needs, and you move towards it or reach for it, an amazing thing happens. Life reaches back. It can be in the form of appreciation, synchronicity or intimacy.

This is life’s way of letting you know you're on track. It’s feedback. But sometimes the greatest gift of saying yes to life’s dream for you is how you feel. There's nothing more gratifying than truly knowing in your heart that you are acting with purpose.

The Secret of Happiness

Being happy is really a choice we make. The secret of Happiness is simple, very simple - what is it?

You decide if you want to be happy!

We all strive for happiness in life. Like many, you probably think achievements such as education, marriage, family and social/financial status make you happy.these achievements have little to do with your happiness. For millions of people, happiness has remained a rather elusive goal. They’ve tried to buy happiness. They’ve sought it through materialistic and pleasurable activities such as buying a new SUV or going on vacation. But nothing has seemed to work.

For most people these changes, new possessions or temporary pleasures, might work for a while but will eventually become part of your status quo, and their power to deliver happiness will fade. I do believe that our brains is hard-wired in ways that, at least to some degree, determine just how happy you’re going to be.

While so many ideas about the secret to happiness are debated, you don’t have to wait to begin discovering happiness within yourself. You see happiness comes from your social relationships, enjoyable work, fulfillment, high self-esteem, a sense that your life has meaning, and joining civic and other groups.

Your life is sprinkled with ample opportunities for discovering happiness. Search for the small things that give you a little laugh or a smile. Take time to be with your family and friends. In the long run, these are the treasures that will enhance your happiness, not some grand achievements that only give you a lift for a short while.

One way to steer your life toward happiness is simply to count your blessings. Happy people know that they don’t get to be happy all the time. They can appreciate brief moments, little victories, small miracles, and the personal interactions that bring real happiness.

Happiness comes from mastering the art of appreciating and consciously enjoying what you already have.